Just Call LeBron "75 Cent" From Now On

From now on, just call LeBron James 75 Cent because he is officially The Best Third Quarter Player Ever.

The San Antonio Spurs, for one, would love to have that third quarter back.

Can you believe it? Miami outscored San Antonio, 39-12, in the third period en route to a 120-98 blowout.

And all along, 75 Cent was just patiently waiting for a track to explode on, going into Get Rich or Die Tryin' mode in the third quarter, firing nine shots and landing seven for 17 points, while tagging another three assists as he supplied Heat the whole way.

He was sick! Literally. Which just adds to the legend.

I know y'all got jokes. About LeBron failing in fourth quarters.

But if you seriously believe that nonsense--that LeBron is a choker--then you must be forced to admit that LeBron is The Best Third Quarter Player Ever.

If he's choking in the fourth, logic says he's got to put up his historic numbers sometime ... and wouldn't you rather have a leader whose team blows out opponents in quarters one-through-three rather than a leader whose team wins close games?

Did you even realize Miami won 41 games last year by double-digit figures--36 in the regular season, five in the playoffs? That's friggin' amazing!

Half the people telling jokes on LeBron--their favorite teams couldn't even win 41 games total, while LeBron's Heat won by 10-or-more 41 times last season.

And in three-and-a-half weeks this season, the Heat already have five double-digit wins. Ten NBA teams--including the Boston Celtics--don't even have five wins yet! And Miami is just rolling fools, even with an injured Dwyane Wade missing a quarter of the season (pun intended).

I'm telling ya, LeBron James just must be The Greatest Third Quarter Pounder Ever!

"75 Cent! ... J-J-J James Unit!"

Oh yeah. Battle-rap response to the jokers ...

Do you know why LeBron doesn't show up in the fourth quarter? Because Terrel Harris subbed in for him, Stupid!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Miami was up by 20 in the fourth quarter and the chicken wanted to beat traffic.

You know why LeBron had to leave the laundromat? It wasn't because he didn't have four quarters. It was because he took your team to the cleaners.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Heat. Heat who? Heat who laughs last, laughs best ... See you in June.